I Need To Lose Weight

I’m overweight. I have been for the better part of 5 years now and have struggled with losing weight for almost a decade. I’m certainly not obese, but I do have some weight to lose. I’m currently 236lbs and have been as high as about 275lbs at my heaviest. My goal right now is to get back down to 190-200lbs. It has to be done.

I’ve been thinking a lot about what I want to accomplish in my life since I made the decision to take control of my life back from obsessive compulsive disorder and schizoaffective disorder. I’ve written it all down a few times now, making minor tweaks and adding different things in all areas of my life. The one constant on my list is losing weight.

It’s funny, I’ve had this desire for a number of years now but I have made little to no progress whatsoever lately. I’ve even taken a few steps backwards. I think most people want to get in better shape. When we want to be our best self and improve, how we look and feel is a big part of that.

I made a list (can you tell I like lists by the way?) of all the reasons why now needs to be the time to lose the weight I’ve so badly wanted to drop over the last decade. Here are just a few reasons why I need to start.

1) To Improve My Overall Health

This one is a no-brainer. I have been thinking a lot about my overall health as of late. This blog centres around my mental health and mission against obsessive compulsive disorder and schizoaffective disorder, but I don’t want to lose focus of my physical health as well. Now that I am 30 years old, this is becoming increasingly important for me. At least more so than when I was 20 (when I was actually in the best shape of my life and worked out 5-6 times a week!).

With the extra weight I have begun to notice that I have less energy than before. In fact, I’ve felt pretty sluggish over the last few years in general. This should not be a problem. I am in the prime of my life. I want to embrace each day with the energy needed to accomplish what I want.

As well, high blood pressure runs in my family, so by losing weight I can help prevent this from an early age and any other complications that may stem from it. Lastly, if I want to lose weight, I will have to eat healthy. This will help ensure that I’m getting the vitamins and minerals my body needs. Something that it has probably been lacking for the last little while.

2) I’ll Get Out More And Isolate Less

As I’ve mentioned in my previous posts, I have often been isolating myself from the outside world. This has been especially true of the last 2 or 3 years but has really gotten bad over the last 6 months. I hardly ever go outside anymore except for when it is absolutely necessary (for food, appointments, etc.). I don’t want to make this a habit. The longer I isolate, the harder it will be to break. Right now I have scheduled 5 gym days over a weeks span. This means I know I will be getting outside at least 5 times a week, which would be great for me. I want to eventually add in more activities, like yoga and/or sports. This will be a great opportunity to get the ball rolling and eventually break free from this isolation.

3) To Improve My Self-Esteem and Confidence

I have horrible self-esteem. My confidence is pretty non-existent at times. A lot of this stems from my mental health issues. Another part of this however is from the fact that I am overweight. I’ve tried many different times to lose the weight, but have failed in this process. This just seems to hurt my confidence even more. I hate to fail. There is nothing worse then setting a goal, only to not accomplish it. Even worse, to give up before you accomplish it.

It is my hope that once I begin to see some progress and start to accomplish this goal I’ve set for myself, it will have positive effects on my self-esteem. Plus as the saying goes, look good, feel good. Or something like that.

4) I Can Use Working Out and Eating Healthy As An Exposure

My mental illness, as it often does, will get in the way at times from going to the gym or the grocery store. I’ll start to think about what I might come into contact with at the gym from using the same equipment as other people or from being around so many other people in a tight area. I’ll then avoid it altogether. The same occurs when I think about going to the grocery store. So what happens then is I end up not working out, but also getting fast food or grabbing something quick to eat that is not healthy. Clearly this is not a winning combination.

By working out and eating healthy, I can use this as a type of exposure therapy to make sure I am pushing myself and doing things that are outside of my comfort zone. Overtime I am confident that things will get easier the more I do them. It is scary right now, but it has to be done. I will expose myself to the uncomfortable situations and settings.

5) To improve My Mood and Mental Health

This might be the biggest reason I need to lose weight and start working out again. Working out can have a great impact on not just your physical health, but also your mental health. I have never had a mental health professional tell me that working out would be a bad idea. In fact, the opposite is true. I am confident my mood will improve by working out 5-6 times a week (and eventually daily). I have been fairly depressed over the last few months. Spending so much time indoors will not help. I’m hoping that working out and losing weight will.

As well, working out should help with the anxieties I feel on a daily basis. I always feel more relaxed after a workout and it helps me throughout the day. I need to make sure I’m pushing myself physically then to burn off some of this extra anxiety.

These are just a few reasons why I need to lose weight, start working out and eat healthy. How can you argue against them? Over the course of the next few months I’ll continue to update how I’m doing on my weight loss journey and see what positive effects it is having on my life.

It will be a long process. I am in no rush. I will stay consistent and I will definitely give it my all. I will do whatever can help me, and move forward. Obsessive compulsive disorder and schizoaffective disorder will no longer stop me from achieving this goal.